Man Versus Dog Days

Posted on September 21, 2008

One warm summer evening, a friend and I were walking the city streets in search of delicious Thai food. Suddenly, she turned to me and asked: “Are you one hundred percent honest with yourself?”

Like any good question asked under the stars, I gave this one serious thought, but it didn’t take me long to realize that the answer was a stark, simple “No”. There is much good that is happening in my life, but if I stopped to enumerate everything – the bad things as well, I could never get out of bed in the morning.

Every day is a face-off with an old enemy – one whom I have been fighting since the beginning of my adolescent life. He is never more than two steps behind me, at the end of of my joys, my accomplishments, my setbacks – always whispering, telling me that my dreams and efforts are for nothing.

Some days, he lies in ambush, waiting to send clouds to darken my sunny skies. In my darkest hours, he seeks to smother any spark of hope I can muster. All I can do is flee. If he catches me, my mind and its thoughts become his prisoner, never able to see beyond the dark things in this world.

“You could have it worse.” say the visitors to my cell. “You just need to cheer up.” These might try telling a blind man to open his eyes. There may be no bruises or fractures, but the pain is still there, and it is still my reality.

Until I break free, and we begin the chase anew. For as long as I keep running, the victory is mine.

 

» Filed Under Everything and Nothing, Writing

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